If i would have to describe my life in one word, i think i would choose loose. You can image but you will never understand someone's life. You can't feel the same emotion, the same thoughts at these moments that keep cutting the string thinner and thinner. The will to stay sane while there is nothing that has not been insane in your mind. It's fragile and so pure, so human but also so abnormal. I've never asked for you to understand or feel for me in this way that you believe you do. i can see how i've been throwing you into deep sea with nothing to grip as the dust is crawling between your toes. The obsession that i have with the beings around me keep the little strings attached to the last thread that is getting to close to your hot body and the vertical fires that have never spread, but moved in ways that draw me into the borders of the painting that you needed to create.

this is about a week ago of when i wrote it. a rediscovery as i have completely forgotten that i still had it. 

not exactly sure of how i feel about this. i don't think it's done so see it as a draft, maybe.